I said sit down!
by random-becca
Summary: What lengths while Emmett go to make Edward angry? Or how about Rosalie? Or the rest of the Cullen clan?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Seriously. I don't own anything. Nothing.

This is seriously just something me and Jessie (youcangoogleit) came up with while looking at pictures from the set. Most of these situations are going to be inspired by them. D

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"I really don't understand why we're getting coffee," I muttered, holding on for my life as Emmett drove to Starbucks.

"Well, it's like Jasper's obsession and it's today's daily activity that involves you to piss of Edward," he explained.

Jasper just sat quietly in the passenger seat. "Don't you have anything to say about this?"

"Nope," Jasper said, looking out the dark window.

I sat back against the seat with a frustrated sigh. Edward was the only one who was supposed to be able to kidnap me. Well, more like human nap me. But whatever, Emmett and Jasper were breaking the rules. I supposed it was more of Emmett's idea, but still. They were human napping me and taking me to go get coffee. Why did Edward have to pick now to go hunting? And why the hell had Alice and Rose actually let their life partners take me in a car…to go get coffee?

Ugh, some things just can not be explained with common logic. We arrived, and Emmett and Jasper got out of the car. "C'mon, Bells, we're not going to hurt you. It's just coffee," Emmett laughed, opening my door and practically pulling me out.

I let out another frustrated sigh as he half pulled me into the Starbucks. "We should order first, Jazzy here takes forever and a day to order his," Emmett stated, walking up to the counter. "We'll need a white chocolate mocha for this young lady here. And for him-"

"Iced, half-caff, ristretto, quad, grande, two-pump raspberry, two precent, no-whip, with bar caramel drizzle, three and a half pump, White mocha," Jasper stated.

I noticed how slowly he said it, it must have killed him to not talk at vampiric speed. The lady behind the counter still seemed shocked. "O-okay, FRED DID YOU GET ALL THAT?"

"Yep," came a very gay sounding voice.

I wanted to run away. Run away with Edward and never come back. Stupid, crazy, scheming mate of Rosalie who makes fun of me way too much, stupid too quiet mate of Alice who is way too obsessed with coffee for a vampire, crazy freaking Rosalie who just wants to look at herself and rape Emmett, damn Alice and her visions keeping me from running away with my best friend for even a minute and humannapping me constantly to keep her damn car, stupid Carlisle for putting me in casts all the time and fixing me when I'm broken, dumb Esme who has to be so motherly amazing and makes me think twice about this damn rant, and damn my fiancé who actually thinks I want to be here right now.

Emmett shoved the coffee thingie into my hands and instructed, "Drink, right now Bells."

I looked at him skeptically and then put it up to my mouth, and took a sip. I was thoroughly surprised. "Holy cow, that actually tastes sort of good."

Emmett nodded, with a huge smile on his face. He led me over to a table and made me sit down. Jasper joined us a few seconds later. "Jasper, can I ask you something?" I said.

"If it has to do with why I'm drinking coffee, then no, you may not," he replied, looking at his coffee like I'd often seen him look at Alice.

"Oh, okay."

And so we sat there and drank our coffee for a few seconds. "Emmett, why don't you have any coffee?" I asked.

"Because I'm not that stupid," he smiled back.

"Oh."

"Time to go home!" Emmett said, looking at his phone. "Alice says Edward'll be home in ten minutes, and if I don't have you back by then, he's going to have a girly little hissy fit."

"My greek god doesn't have girly little hissy fits," I half hissed at him.

"Wow, your greek god?"

"Did I really say that out loud?" I asked.

"Yep," Jasper nodded, standing up, walking out to the car without us.

"C'mon, time to get you home," Emmett said, dragging me back out to the car.

I was turning into a regular rag doll. So we drove, way too fast, fast enough that if it wasn't for the fact that I was avoiding looking out the window and wasn't in the back seat, I would probably be puking up white mocha crap all over the car. We got back to the Cullen's house just in time. Edward pulled up right behind us. I got out of the car, seriously bouncing. "So this is what caffeine does to her," Emmett commented as I bounced up to Edward.

"What did you two do to her? She's acting like the pixie!" my greek god cried out.

"I had coffee, Edward! It tasted sooo good. At first I didn't want any, but then Emmett ordered it anyway and it tasted amazing and I want more! Do you think we can go back tomorrow?" I giggled out.

Edward looked murderously at Jasper and Emmett. "You know, Jasper, you're just going to have to barf that up later. "

"I don't care, it tastes good going down, Sex ED!" Jasper screamed back, stomping back into the house.

"Well, that's kind of a waste," laughed Edward.

Alice stuck her head out the window and looked down. "Would you rather him be drinking Bella?"

Edward glared and kissed my forehead. "No, of course not."

I smiled and then turned to go harass Emmett. "Will you bring me back there tomorrow? Please?" I begged.

"Um no. Tomorrow I need a different plan of something to do with you to piss of Edward."

"Oh," I said, disappointed.

This was going to be a long week. I could already see that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose," Emmett said, "I'm king of the world!"

We were on our way to the airport to meet Bella so we could all meet Renee and Phil. I tried to keep from laughing as I saw what was about to happen in the car, though. I mean, Rose is almost as protective of her car as Edward is, and her image is even more important. Mix those two things and her wacky husband and only god, and me of course, knew what was going to happen. "No, Emmett, you're not king of the world!" Rosalie snapped, looking in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, I am!" Emmett insisted.

"No, you're not. Sit down this instant," she hissed.

A few seconds passed before Emmett said, "I'm still king of the world, Jasper!"

"Emmett, sit down right now! What did I just tell you?" Rosalie almost yelled.

Emmett pouted. "Don't be so mean, Rosie. I'm just trying to have some fun."

She hissed. Emmett stopped putting his hands up in the air and just stood up in the car. "This is getting stupid. Emmett, just sit down before Rose takes apart your jeep," Jasper sighed from behind me.

"She wouldn't dare!" He gasped, putting his arms back up in the air.

"Rose, I'm king of the world!" He shouted.

"No, you are not you big idiot! Now sit down or no jeep, and no sex for a year! SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW DAMN IT!" Rosalie screamed.

Emmett sunk down into the seat slowly, pouting. Rose returned to her calm self. "See, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Yes, it was very hard," Emmett said.

A few moments passed by before we arrived at the airport. "Emmett?" I said.

"What, Alice?" He sighed.

"That's what she said."

"AHHHHHHH!" He yelled, running ahead of us to go meet Bella and Edward. "They hate me, Bella! They all hate me!"

Bella gave him an odd look and attempted to pat him on his head, but could only reach his shoulder. Ha, that's what she gets for being taller than me. I looked at Rose. She rolled her eyes as if she knew what I was thinking. "They don't hate you," Bella said.

"Yes we do!" I called back.

Rose glared at me. I giggled. Jasper grabbed my hand and we started walking toward the door. Emmett was still complaining. "I mean, is it so much to ask, I just want to be king of the world. Really, it's not that all that much! I just wanted to be number one for once. I've never been so happy in my life, standing up like that in my wife's car…."

Edward laughed and put his arm around Bella. And then he glared. "No, Emmett, you may not make Bella do that. I will not have her standing up in a car. If she falls out, she won't be able to brush it off with no damage."

Emmett pouted. "YOU HATE ME TOO? WHY IS EVERYONE- Hey Bella's mom!"

"Erm, hello," She greeted him.

"This is Emmett, my older brother," Edward interrupted quickly.

"Ohhhhh!"


	3. Chapter 3

Carlisle was seriously starting to get annoyed with Emmett and Rosalie. That's how bad this fight was. I'd never seen anything like this at all. I mean, Carlisle who was close to a saint, was even getting annoyed. This was not good at all. Edward said there had been a few other fights like this, but none so incredibly stupid.

You see, Emmett wouldn't give up this whole king of the world thing at all. Rose was pissed. And she wasn't talking to him, or looking at him for that matter. Emmett was ready to blow. He seriously just wanted her to talk to him. But he didn't want to give up being king of the world. And he didn't want to give up the idea of me being king…errrmmm queen of the world. Honestly, I didn't want to stand up in Rosalie's car. The way she glared at Emmett when he did that sort of scared me. I didn't want to get any more looks than she already gave me. Sorry, soon to be vampire bro.

My mom and Phil were around town now . They'd come for the wedding, obviously. It wasn't a very long time really….just a few more weeks. But I wasn't going to think about that.

Alice came through the door, almost doubling over in laughter. Then Edward started in. "Oh this is going to be absolutely hilarious," he said.

I looked at both of them curiously. What was going to happen now?

"EMMETT CULLEN YOU GET YOUR ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW!" screamed Rosalie at the top of her lungs.

Uh-oh I thought, but Alice and Edward were trying not to laugh.

"Come on, Bella dear, we're going to go listen to this closer up so you can hear," Edward said, grabbing my hand and leading me sneakily up the stairs behind Alice.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Emmett asked. "Besides, you don't need to scream. You know I can hear you."

"Oh I NEED to scream, Emmett! What do you think you were doing with that slut Tammera? Huh? What do you think you were doing? YOU WINKED AT HER AND SAID HELLO? DID SHE ACTUALLY CATCH YOUR ATTENTION THAT WELL? SHE'S NOT EVEN BLOND DAMN IT!" Rosalie yelled.

I cringed. This wasn't looking all that good for Emmett. "Rose, it was nothing! I winked and said hello! And she listened to my king of the world story! And then she asked me out and I said no. I'm a good husband, I swear!"

"A GOOD HUSBAND WOULDN'T WINK AND SAY HEY! AND AN EVEN BETTER HUSBAND WOULDN'T PLAY KING OF THE WORLD IN MY FREAKING CAR!' Jeez. Rose was having a hissy fit.

"Rosalie, calm down," Emmett pretty much demanded.

And it sort of seemed like she did. I didn't hear the hyperventilating angry sighs that I'd heard a few seconds ago. "Edward, Alice, AND Bella, get away from the door right now! This is not amusing!" Rosalie barely shouted.

Well at least she wasn't screaming her head off.

And then there was silence. "OH I DID NOT JUST NEED TO SEE THAT!" Edward screamed.

Alice laughed. "I told you this was going to be awesome," she said.

Edward glared at her. "Could you at least have warned me?"

"Nope," she smiled.

"Come on, Bella, we're going shopping!" she giggled after a few seconds had passed.

"….Only if you tell me what Edward just saw…," I tried to bargain…hoping to God she wouldn't tell me. So then I wouldn't have to go shopping with her!!

"Mental porn of Rosalie," Alice giggled, grabbing my arm and pulling me out to her car.

I screamed. She put me in the passenger seat of the car.

Esme was doing garden work and turned to wave to us, I pounded on the car window and mouthed help me. She just laughed.

So much for being the nice, motherly one out of the group.


	4. Corrupted my Angel

**Wellllll, here's chap four. I'll put the links to the set picks these chaps were inspired from in my bio. Maybe tonight, maybe later this week. Not sure yet. Anyway enjoy, this one's from Edward's POV **

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"Alice," Emmett yelled. "Stop trying to bite Jasper. He's already a vampire!"

I laughed uncontrollably. This was going to be funny. Bella came up beside me and whispered, "What's going on now?"

I shrugged. "Nothing that important, love. Just Emmett, Alice, and Jasper being odd."

She smiled and watched the scene play out with me. "I'm not trying to bite him!" Alice glared at Emmett, looking angry.

"Yes, you are. You do not just open your mouth that wide and just lunge. That's not normal, Alice. Even for a pixie, shopaholic, that is not normal," Emmett complained.

Alice glared again. "I really hate you."

Jasper rolled his eyes. I laughed at his thoughts as well. **I really don't care if she was trying to bite me or not…**

Bella looked at me, and then back at them. I would have to tell her later what they all were thinking, of course. It would bother her if I didn't. "Rosalie even saw you trying to bite him! We both saw you!" Emmett pressed, looking rather bothered by the whole thing.

_She's starting to scare me. Edward, don't let her hurt me…if she's thinking violent thoughts, nod your head a bit._

I cracked up, shaking my head and listening in on Alice. _**He is going to pay. So what if it looks like I'm biting Jasper? What was he going to do if I actually was? Seriously. He is annoying. And I am not a pixie. Oh, when this is done he is going to be so sorry. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, if you ruin this for me, I will damage you. I'd kill you but Bella would be angry. **_

I shrugged toward Alice. It was probably in my best interests not to upset her any more that Emmett already had. "I wasn't trying to bite him! How do you know that I was trying to bit him? I was just talking. Sometimes my mouth opens wider than usual. Do you have a problem with that Emmett?" she screeched.

"Like when it looked like Edward was trying eat a little girl? But he wasn't?" Offered Jasper, finally talking.

Bella burst into a fit of giggles. I glared at Jasper for bringing that up. I wasn't trying to eat that little girl at all. Just because I opened my mouth just a tad bit more than I should of when I was laughing…ugh. Now they would never let me live it down.

I felt a wave of excitement pass through me. Bella's giggles doubled as Emmett and Alice continued to bicker as well. I glared at Jasper again. What in the hell was he doing- sending that through all of us? At this rate, we were going to break another one of Esme's antiques. She was seriously going to make us work in the garden or something if we broke too many more.

_Edwardddddd!! I think she's going to hurt me! HELPPPPP!!_

_**Don't you dare tell him anything, "brother."**_

**I'm slightly amused by all of this. **

"Enough!" I yelled, shaking off the excitement and trying my hardest to block out the mental voices. "Just everyone shut up for five seconds, if that's even possible for you all. Not you Bella, love, you're absolutely fine."

"She's the one laughing her ass off!" Emmett defended, glaring at me.

"I. Said. Shut. Up."

Emmett pouted, but continued talking. "First Rose tells me to sit down, and now you're telling me to shut up. Edward, I'm starting to get the feeling that you're not appreciating me very much lately."

I glared at him.

_**I think we should put Bella in a death situation, and then he can save her. Then you can appreciate him :D Especially, if he dies in the process or something.**_

Alice better be glad Rosalie was not the mind reader. I growled at the Bella part. Alice was really pissed. Wasn't Emmett's normal goal to piss me off, not Alice? I mean, it was fairly easy to make her angry, but usually that consisted of burning her clothes or something. I laughed as I thought about that.

_**Don't even think about it, Edward.**_

Woah. Time to remember Alice could see that decision. I shrugged and turned away, grabbing Bella's hand. "Noo, Edward. I want to stay and see Alice and Emmett get into another fight! Last time they knocked out a whole window! And then Jasper asked if anyone wanted starbucks! I GOT MORE FREE COFFEE!" Bella whined.

I looked down at her, bewildered. After a moment of registering her words, I let go of her hand. "Emmett, Jasper, Alice, you have corrupted my angel," I sighed.

They all stopped what they were doing and smiled at us. "Anytime," Jasper said cooly, turning back to watch Alice and Emmett.

"You're welcome," Alice and Emmett together.

I glared.


End file.
